Wednesday, March 08, 2006

There is an eerie sand storm today here in Iraq. It blew and blew and blew this morning. I was wrapped up in my blankets in my little trailer listening to it wishing I had my dad to hold me. It was kind of scary. After blowing a ton, the sky turned yellow and the air was thick with dust. I stayed inside as long as I could until my ride came and got me. As we drove the wind rocked the vehicle and there were little rain drops that plopped mud on the window. I’m now looking out the office window to a yellow world. Visibility is limited as the dust is blowing everywhere. It’s very strange. It feels cozy like a snow storm but it’s warm and dry--never a dull moment in Iraq.
I’ve been moved yet again to a Northern City in the country and it’s a lot prettier here. Maybe It’s prettier everywhere but I haven’t seen it. It’s green here. They have two lawn mowers AND they use them. There are pretty flowers and hills and it’s just nicer. I think it just confirms that I’m a mountain girl after all. I’m doing the same kind of stuff that I was doing before just not as much responsibility as I am the assistant to the finance manager here. He’s been asking for an assistant for a long time and I’m it.

Home seems a million miles away again and although I think a part of me was traumatized having to leave again, I’m really ok. I felt a little bit torn apart inside leaving my mother and father this time. Not sure why. It was just more emotional. I think when I came here the first time I was headed for adventure and the unknown and because I didn’t know what I was going in to, I could imagine it was so much better than what I was leaving. But this time I knew exactly the ratio and I struggled weighing the options. I came back though. The reasons are complicated and I’m still trying to figure them out myself. By the time I figure out that I really should come back here, I may have my 9 month bonus in pocket. My mind sometimes is a little slower catching up to my body; decisions, decisions. Ones decisions determine ones life you know, so one must be careful what one chooses- the paths lead to paths and soon there is no going back to make a different choice. I believe Robert Frost expressed it best. So two roads diverged on Feb 26 and I chose the one that brought me back to Iraq. I wonder if I will ever have the choice to stay home from an adventure again. We’ll see.


At 2:55 PM, Blogger --TBAS said...

Still with Titan?


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